Communicating Week 4

This week I evaluated myself as a communicator and also had my mom and friend evaluate me.  My mom scored me almost exactly as I scored myself in the anxiety section.  I hate public speaking and speaking in small groups.  I feel that I do a terrible job at it and leave an awful impression.  It surprised me to see my mom thinking I leave a positive impression.  Our biggest discrepancy was in the aggressive session.  I have a temper and my mom knows it, but she has not seen it in full swing!  I tend to be more aggressive with people I have known for a long time and not newly met people.

My friend was very much on target with me.  She has been my best friend for about 30 years!  She knows me better than I know myself.  Like my mom she thinks I do well with public speaking, even though my voice is cracking and my body is shaking!

This assignment was very  insightful.  Where I think I lack confidence others see as positive outcomes.  I'm hoping knowing this will help me become more comfortable when I need to speak in public, but this is still something I will never volunteer to do!

Communicating with different groups

I find that I do communicate differently with people of other groups or cultures.  I notice that I tend to be different towards people with a higher status than I.  This is evident in my workplace.  I can have a normal, talk about anything conversation with my colleagues.  When I have to discuss things with the principals, or have meetings with them,I am very uncomfortable and I tend to pay more attention to my body language and grammar.  Sometimes I feel that this hinders me in that I am not showing them my knowledge and confidence because I feel intimidated.

Three strategies that I try to use when communicating with higher status individuals are:
1)  To overlook who they are and talk to them as normal people. 
2)  I need to respect their position but also be open and honest about my views and to communicate that in a respectful manner.
3)  Be open to their ideas, suggestions and/or criticisms. 

Nonverbal Communication

For this assignment, I chose to view the show Hot in Cleveland.  I have never seen this show before but heard of it.  For the first part of the lesson, I watched it with no sound.  It started off with one of the characters on the phone and two other females sitting at the table.   The person on the phone was obviously very upset about something.  This was obvious to me because she had her free hand waving in the air and her facial expression was very apparent.  Betty White was then shown talking to another girl that had come down stairs dressed in a robe.  It appeared that Betty White, who plays Elka, made a sarcastic remark to Joy.  I noticed that Elka moved in closer to Joy when she spoke to her and did some pointing with her fingers.  The other characters faces showed a stunned look which led me to believe that a sarcastic or rude remark had been made.

When I watched the show again with the sound on, I found my assumptions to be correct.  Melanie was on the phone with the drycleaner.  She was upset because the drycleaner lost her favorite dress.  After Melanie hung up the phone, you could hear Joy upstairs getting ready to come down.  Melanie and Victoria said to be nice to Joy because it was the anniversary of Joy being left at the altar.  When Joy sat down next to Elka, she had a dried bouquet of flowers, and Elka made the comment “what are you doing with that old dried up thing?”  Joy said they were her flowers and Elka commented that she was talking to the flowers.   

Even though I am not familiar with this program, I found it easy to figure out what was happening with the body language.  I learned from this assignment that facial expressions really tell us what a person is thinking or feeling.

Competent Communicator

The person I chose to write about is my RVP at my second job.  He is a fabulous communicator.  The following traits make him great:
1)  He is personable.
2)  He is passionate about his career.
3)  He brings in life experience and shares it with the other agents and clients.
4)  He brings humor to the conversation.
5)  He listens.
6)  He is very knowledgeable about the job and can ask/answer questions with confidence.

I am still new in this business, but I look forward to our weekly meetings, just to get pumped up by his enthusiasm.  He is so willing to help people out and to take them under his wing to give the support necessary.  I definitely want to become a great communicator like him.  I am developing the enthusiasm about the company, and in time I will  have the  confidence and knowledge to be more comfortable talking with clients.